Thursday, March 3, 2011

Question ....

Is it wrong to say "I love you"?

Have you ever told someone that you love them and they told you it made them feel uncomfortable?

A couple of weeks ago my mother and I went to the opera. While I was dropping her off I turned to give her a hug and said "I love you". Suddenly she stopped me and said that made her uncomfortable. She said that I say it so often it seems all for show. The younger generation uses that phrase so loosely and she thought that I was following suit. I felt that I got slapped in the face. My own mother just admitted that she doesn't know me at all. I don't say "I love you" to people without really meaning it. I say that to the people I care about the most.

Maybe the reason I say "I love you" so much is because I want to show my family that I love them even if we don't always get along. The history that I have with my family is not a "Leave it to Beaver" kind of story. There are a lot of hurt and mixed feelings, but I do love them and would do anything for them. I have given up a lot over the years for my family and put myself in a position where I was the caretaker and peacemaker ... even when I should have walked away. Sometimes it even made the gap between us even bigger. Even though most of the time I feel left behind and forgotten (or that I am the bad guy), I still say it because I believe it.  I keep hoping that they will say it back and I will have that moment of peace.

 So tell me, is it wrong to say "I love you" ... even when you know the meaning will be lost?

1 comment:

Clare said...

Dang, that is truly awful. I am sorry that you had that reaction from your mom. So hurtful. Maybe in return you should tell her how much that hurt you because you only say I love you when you mean it. Your mom is right that the youth of today use I love you in the wrong occasions but if she knew you then she would realize that you mean it.

I once said to a boyfriend "I love you" and he promptly dumped me. That took care of me using those words until I married my hubby.