If you are a dreamer, come in,
If you are a dreamer, a wisher, a liar,
A hope-er, a pray-er, a magic bean buyer...
If you're a pretender, come sit by my fire
For we have some flax-golden tales to spin.
Come in! Come in! ~ Shel Silverstein
Monday, February 23, 2009
The way I feel today
... And this woman is frustrated.
Today, I woke up in limbo. I am between frustration and contentment.
Every time I focus on last night's conversation with Michael, I sink lower into a funk. I feel that I am completely in the dark about our future. I wish that he could just give me an idea of what he is thinking. "When will you be ready to move to the next step?" I don't want to push him into something hes not ready for. However, he has been giving me the same answer for 3 years, "When the time is right." What the hell does that even mean? No offense but the time has been right several times. He tells me he wants to give me what I want, but all I want is him. I had promised myself that I wouldn't focus on this, but it's so hard. It doesn't help that everyone I talk to asks me when we will be getting married or why hasn't he asked you already. He doesn't have to answer them. I do ... and I don't know what to say anymore because I can't think of a reason why we aren't. Maybe if we were in the same state it would be easier ... but right now, I just feel alone.